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19 april 2020

Take control

Something to complain?

How are you doing at the moment? Are you completely fine with the situation you are in? Happy with how everything is going? Chances are high you can think of something that is not okay now, something that could be improved. The fact that you can’t meet with the people you like or love for example, or the fact that you get distracted so much, while you should be studying or delivering for a group assignment? Maybe there is other things to be unhappy with. And maybe, you sometimes feel like complaining about this. Sighing because things haven’t changed yet, or worse.

Hoping for something?

Maybe, just like many others, you recognize that you have hopes. Hopes for improvement of your situation, of our situation! Hope that it will not last too much longer, hope that restrictions will be loosened shortly or hope about finding the spirit to study and work hard. Hopes and complaints have something in common. And it can be really helpful to understand what that is.

Nothing will change

What complaining and hoping have in common is that they are passive activities. Nothing much comes from them. It’s being reactive, it’s staying dependent of what fate will have in store for you. And as long as you are fine with the situation staying the way it is, that might be okay. But if you would like your situation to improve somehow, you will need to do something more than complaining and hoping for the best.

Focus on what’s in control

Of course, some aspects of the situation you are in are not up to you to decide about, you don’t control them so you are not able to change or improve them. The answer to the question how to deal with those things is simple: just don’t. Focus on the things you can control. And make a decision.

It is in your decisions

that your destiny

is shaped.

(Anthony Robbins)

Some examples

-        Instead of complaining about being less productive than you would like to be, say:
Okay, this is up to me. I will transform my sleeping room into an encouraging office space after breakfast.

-        Instead of being frustrated about not being able to meet the people you like and love, say:

It’s up to me. I am going to set up the best video-dinner with my grandma ever.

-        Instead of hoping for good grades at the exams, say:

Alright, this is up to me. I am going to prepare for my exams better than I ever did before.

Use active words

To become less dependent of fate or of what others do, be aware of words like hope, we shall see, maybe, I think, probably or tomorrow. Instead slip active words into your thoughts and talking, like: I am going to, I will, now, without a doubt, I am doing, today.

Take care and take control!